I actually wrote this about two hours ago. It's on my facebook as well, but I want some feedback from watchers.

I'm sorry to doubt you, but I do not harbor happiness
For a building which slowly drained and brainwashed
Because of what it has created, and what it has held
I'm proud to say I survived eight terms, four years
Two of which I played the role of a drifter, but always
Someone anyone could feel free to talk to no matter what about.

Sure I've boasted my knowledge, but what of it?
I've learned the hard way, and in such a period of time
That shouldn't seem possible, no matter how long it's examined
From December to April, and from times before I learned
That it's not the best way out, no matter the experiences
Created and remembered, with people often forgotten.

I still worry about a single slip up, or a single relapse
Creating a collapse in faith of those who I feel
Honored, or even lucky to know
The people I have around me, yet the people I'm most scared of
For I know that one slip could create
A mistrust, a loss in belief, a loss in care.

Just another kid in a ditch, he didn't mean shit
To the hustle and bustle of the realities we all face
But just cause he's shit doesn't mean he can't go on
It doesn't mean he can't know what others can't comprehend
What others can't imagine.

A freedom, yet a prison for those in a vicious circle
Battling everyday, slogging through life problems
Only with an added horror, usually due to experiments
No matter how long ago, or how forgotten they may seem.

From seemingly wasting two years of what is known as "prime"
For someone who probably won't ever be there again
Which has far more ups than downs, but even still
I seem to miss a sense of happiness and security that isn't about
Money, possessions, constant battles of day to day life
But I know what's done is done, and it's always going to be for the better.

I do not wish to make up, I just pray to wake up and breath
Fresh air on my face, food on the plates, and it's often nice
To have some money in the pocket, just for spending at leisure
But not always will this be the same, for days come when there's
Nothing there, and a feeling of emptiness comes to replace.

Times like these are times to hit the benches, the parks, the sanctuaries
And enter into deep thoughts, often times reverting to chemical visuals
Still left in the system, still lurking in the system, waiting for moments like these
To make death seem like the keeper of the almost heroin euphoria
And make it seem so happy, too happy, too real, too fake

I've got who I want around me, I've got who I want to make me happy
But I still crave for more, just to know the consequences of living and surviving
Really are worth it.

Reality is like a grain of salt in the eye
A pain, an annoyance, but it's time to suck up and face it
Welcome to the age of confusion, of wondering what is going to happen.

The darkness sets in across the lake, which slightly resembles the future.

People Who I Watch That I'd Like to Meet: (No particular order)
~marketgarden =lima-bean
~video-massacre =chrisbucks
*Democat =FlatlineOnSteroids
=austinboothphoto =youreinforitnow
~mattdiflorio *Laerbn
*raspil ~bloodXpig



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